Before the enactment of the anti Filipino mail order brides law in the 1990's, Filipino women were being wedded to South Korean men by the thousands through marriage brokers and South Korean-based religious groups.

Among them, the most well-known match-making group were the so called Moonies. The Moonies were a religious cult that matched up and married off its members to one another in mass wedding ceremonies and rituals; later on, when the Filipino bride arrives in South Korea, she is not permitted to get out of the Moonies compound until the man pays for his bride. (Within this sense, the cult is true-to-form mail mail order bride company.)

It certainly is not well-known what the Moonies do to the Filipina brides once they arrive, but it's assumed they're brainwashed (none of the ladies who arrived ever truthfully talked about their experiences at the Moonies compound).

In spite of this, this back story about the Moonies is not as important as what happened to the Moonies Filipina mail order brides - and other mail order brides - when they were living with their Korean spouses.

While it is not well-known how many are "true" Filipina mail order brides, there are at least 6,191 Filipino women staying in South Korea who are married to Korean men. Unfortunately, while there are women that are happily married, many are divorced, separated or were abandoned by their husbands, so that in 2009, the Philippine ambassador to South Korea himself warned Filipino girls against getting married to South Korean men.

What exactly are the husbands from the land of Samsung and Hyundai doing wrong?

1. Not sending their wives to a proper Korean foreign language school

Language barrier is usually the most challenging problem to hurdle between Philippine women and Korean men - whilst most Philippine women speak English, most Koreans do not talk English at all.

Unfortunately, Korean is a rather tough language to master especially for English speakers, not simply because of the basic grammar structure ("I ate an apple" would be "I apple ate" in Korean). It takes a minimum of one year and half of intense Korean language training to include all the grammar patterns and basic vocabulary.

However, many Korean men find it too expensive or a waste of time to send their wives to a good Korean language school, not even for the sake of making their married life a happy one. Many Filipino ladies as well as other nationalities hitched to Koreans have to content themselves with free Korean classes once a week at the nearby cultural centers, which I think is not at all enough.

2. Believing that wives exist to serve their husbands

Korean culture is basically a Confucian society where the men hold a better place in society. For example, there's a huge difference in earnings between men and women even with big companies like Samsung.

On the home front, men (especially men in their 50's and older) expect their wives to do all the household work, cooking food and essentially everything else. But it is not enough to do everything at home, the wives are also required to earn their own money too.

3. Dealing with their moms and/or being mama's boys

Except in very rare situations, Korean men who are the eldest are required to take care of their parents and live with them in their senior years. But in addition to living up to this expectation, many men are mama's boys, the majority, however, are dis-empowered from standing up to their mothers (and fathers) when there is a mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law war happening.

The reason is that in Korean culture, the younger ones are barred from speaking in a strong voice towards older people.

If you're reading this, you should think about just how much of the situation of Philippine mail order brides in South Korea echoes the situation in your own country. And maybe you can think about ways you can make the life of your own Filipino mail order bride a bit better.

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